


He's a Lonely Soul

by Pluttskutt



Series: FH Flatmates AU [9]
Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, garrett has major sadness issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-10
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-23 08:10:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9647558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pluttskutt/pseuds/Pluttskutt
Summary: Lies are difficult to live with but Garrett has no choice, no matter how horrible he feels about everything that happens around him. He stays home when his friends go out, and can't keep his temper in check. Thoughts are difficult when they're scattered everywhere.





	1. Help?

**Author's Note:**

> I want to say thank you so much again for the support I'm getting for this story! It's so helpful and makes it fun to edit and make sure the parts are good. As always if something is weird, tell me and I'll fix it. Enjoy!

Papers in different colours decorated the kitchen table. Written on them was a sentence in various fonts. Some were impossible to tell apart without a magnifying glass. It was the highlight of Garrett’s day to flip through them, compare them, and see which he preferred.

The sentence was the colour and font name, which he appreciated as he had no idea what was going on. He could tell there was a white and a different kind of white but the colours’ name were beyond him.

And the fonts. The blighted fonts. Cursive, unreadable, blighted fonts. Carver should be the one who looked and compared the invites. He had an eye for detail. All Garrett had was a knack for offering help even when he had no idea what he was doing, which happened often.

He lifted his foot up when Cooper laid down under the table. The hound let out a deep sigh and yawned.

“Me too buddy, me too,” Garrett muttered, “think I can make paper planes with these?” he wondered and sighed. Planning hadn’t been his strong suit when he grew up, and he tried his best as an adult but it wasn’t in him. He saw the big picture, not the details, like if sky blue was better than light blue. Powder blue or lavender? Maybe mint green was a better choice, who knew? Not Garrett.

“Is that a j?” he grabbed a white paper and squinted to read the text on it, “J… y… Jyy… pa…” slowly he put the paper down. It wasn’t worth it. He wanted to drive to his office and shred the invites into confetti. It’d be so colourful and pretty.

The weight of Cooper’s head in his lap made him look down, and he chuckled when two big eyes looked up at him. He petted Cooper’s head and stroke his muzzle. It was good that he had Cooper.

“Garrett!” Isabela called for him, “time to judge,” he guessed she meant their outfits for the night. Because he knew so much about fashion and outfits and was totally aware of trends. They should have asked Carver or Bethany. The ones in the family who used social media and followed trends.

“Okay,” Cooper wagged his tail when he pushed back his chair to stand, “let’s go see how they look,” why Fenris would ask Isabela for help he didn’t understand. She liked tight, revealing clothes. Fenris didn’t like to show skin. Maybe they found a middle ground?

“Remember your words,” Isabela said and pushed the curtain aside. She wore a white dress with lace up down to her stomach. Because she wore socks, he assumed she’d put on high boots whey they left.

“You’re not wearing jewellery,” he pointed out when he didn’t see earrings or a necklace. She always accessorised.

“Your attention is as always not where it’s supposed to be,” she shook her head with a smile. Fenris pulled the drapery aside and stepped out. Black chinos, a grey shirt over, and a black cardigan with rolled up sleeves. His hair looked silky and fluffy. Garrett wanted to touch it. Garrett would not touch it.

Isabela raised an eyebrow and smacked his shoulder. He felt foolish.

“You look great!” he sputtered, “like… really really great,” yes perfect. Ten out of ten points for use of adjectives. Truly a master of words. Linguistics should be wary of his existence for he would surpass them all.

“My markings are obvious, should I not pull down the sleeves?” Fenris creased his brow. Garrett opened his mouth to say no but closed it to think of a better way to express himself.

“You already know my opinion,” Isabela winked and nudged Garrett in the side. Right, words. Language. Talk. Open mouth. Share opinion.

“No one will know your markings are not just tattoos you got yourself, and you’re not obligated to tell anyone the truth,” it wasn’t weird if Fenris didn’t like how they looked. Garrett wondered if they could be removed with a laser. If Fenris wanted, they could look it up.

“You are correct,” Fenris agreed.

“I’ll just be a minute,” Isabela said and walked into Fenris’ room. Fenris didn’t look all too comfortable, but not as anxious as the first time they went to Isabela's’.

“Have you been to a club before?” or were they going to a bar? Bethany said one thing, Anders said another, and Isabela said every place in the city.

“I would rather not speak of my past,” Fenris deflected the question.

“Right, sorry, I just… I’m sorry,” Garrett rubbed the nap of his neck. He hadn’t meant to remind Fenris about an unpleasant memory but he was worried. If something was off he’d tell the others, right?

“Is there something wrong?” Fenris raised an eyebrow.

“I don’t know, I guess I just feel a bit protective after what happened last weekend,” Garrett sighed, “I know you’ll look after each other but I’m still worried,” he bit his lower lip. If anything was wrong, Fenris would know. His attackers shouldn’t be able to find him again, but if they saw who he was with they could look them up and find him that way.

“Do you want me to stay with you?” Fenris asked.

“No, why?” Garrett tilted his head at the question. Maybe (most definitely) he wasn’t good at explaining himself. He should have gone to school and gotten that diploma, maybe he’d be better with words.

“You said you feel protective, and the easiest way for you to protect me is to keep me here,” Fenris averted his eyes. Looked to the side. Garrett’s eyes widened.

“That’s not - I didn’t mean - You’re not -” he stumbled over words as he tried to explain.

“Protective is not the same as possessive,” Isabela reminded them when she hurried out from behind Fenris’ and stopped in front of the full body mirror.

“Thanks,” Garrett muttered. Had Danarius said protect when he possessed? He shook his head to get those thoughts out of his head. Didn’t want to write himself a story about Fenris’ past.

“I… see,” Fenris frowned but said nothing. Garrett crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Isabela. She fixed her necklace and winked at her reflection.

“Our ride is here in a minute so we should go down,” she said and grabbed her boots. Fenris walked over to the door and grabbed his shoes.

“Have fun, say hi to the others from me,” Garrett said as they put their shoes on. Isabela smiled and walked over to give him a hug.

“Ask for help,” she whispered before she pulled back, “don’t wait up!” she winked and headed out the door. Cooper hurried to be petted by both before they left.

“Goodbye,” Fenris walked out after Isabela. The door shut behind him. Garrett wished he could have gone with them.

“I just keep messing up my words today,” he sighed and looked at Cooper, “we’re going for a run so I can clear my head,” he headed to his room. Cooper hurried before him to grab his leash. Garrett wondered how he knew.


	2. I Want Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett is not okay and he tries to not bring anyone with him but it's difficult to think of so many things all the time, while also trying not to think of other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter of this part, I hope you like it!

Garrett flipped through the cookbook. He marked the pages he thought Bethany would enjoy with dog ears. It was his cookbook after all, no one would scold him for it.

“Maybe…” he looked at a picture of grilled chicken, “no,” he sighed when he saw it had oranges in it. Carver was allergic. Just keep looking, just keep looking, he hummed and took a bite from his caramel cheesecake slice. Yes, he’d gone to the bakery the evening before and brought a whole cake home. It wasn’t the same as the one his sister baked, but it was close. A comfort in the empty darkness.

It wasn’t a constant darkness. Like most things in life, it came and went. Sometimes he managed to shoo it away, but other times he couldn’t. The last time it swallowed him whole had been worse than any time before. He didn’t want that to happen again.

“Good morning,” Fenris greeted him when he walked into the kitchen. He wore his Cookie Monster pyjamas and didn’t appear hungover.

“Good morning,” Garrett smiled. The clock was past eleven, but he didn’t mention that.

“You’re eating cake,” Fenris commented. Garrett chuckled. Fenris must see it as an unhealthy breakfast.

“There’s more in the fridge if you want,” he offered and looked at the cookbook again. No part of him wanted to cook for the memory day. Remembrance day. Whatever name, he had no desire to cook. Carver didn’t want to be a part of it because Bethany refused to acknowledge Marian, and Gamlen felt they should remember both his sister and her child, but the decision fell on nearest blood relatives. The Hawke siblings.

“Did I wake you last night?” Fenris asked, and Garrett shook his head. The fridge opened, and he looked up to see what Fenris would eat.

“How was it? Where did you go?” he wondered how it was the first time for Fenris at a club or bar. Fenris put butter and cheese on the table. So it was bread for breakfast.

“I enjoyed it,” Fenris answered and went to get a glass.

“Nothing interesting happened?” Garrett shut his book to focus on Fenris.

“Bethany won a drinking contest and Anders threw up behind a bench,” Fenris licked his lips and sat down opposite of him.

“You enjoyed that Anders threw up behind a bench?” Garrett questioned. Fenris smiled and grabbed a slice of bread. Without confirming nor denying he spread butter on his bread, and Garrett scoffed.

“Really? Okay, I’m guessing Isabela got lucky, what about you?” did Fenris receive attention from strangers at the clubs (or bars)? Had he been happy or grossed out?

“There were attempts at flirting, some more successful than others,” Fenris admitted. He grabbed the juice jug on the table and poured himself a glass.

“Did you get a number?” Garrett tried to find out more. Had Fenris flirted with others, or had he meant others flirted with him?

“I decided that is not the attention I want,” Fenris bit his bread and looked at Cooper who laid on the floor beside the table. He took up half the kitchen.

“What about meeting new people?” Garrett wondered. Fenris said something about that. Or maybe Isabela tattled about it.

“I don’t think I need to meet more people,” Fenris said and glanced at the cake slice, “when were you at the bakery?” he asked. Garrett smiled and brushed a hand through his hair.

“Yesterday, some time after you left,” like five minutes after, which was how long it took him to jog down, “why do you say that, about not meeting more people, what about making friends?” if Fenris wanted a life in Kirkwall like he said, he’d need friends. Connections and roots were important for a new life.

“I have friends,” Fenris raised an eyebrow. That was true, Garrett just thought he wanted other friends. He hadn’t been sure Fenris liked his friends or were with them for lack of better options. Not that Fenris had to rush meeting new people.

“I just thought you’d want… you know,” Fenris looked at him and waited, “nevermind,” he shrugged and cut a piece of cake to stuff his mouth with so he’d be quiet.

“Why didn’t you join us?” Fenris grabbed another bread slice. Garrett considered the answer he could give. It was not a good weekend for him. Everything reminded him of what he worked hard to ignore.

“I couldn’t,” he sighed, “I’m an… a recovering alcoholic, and I can’t be in that environment,” recovering was a dumb word. Wouldn’t he always be recovering? He’d never trust himself with alcohol again. Always recovering, forever a broken mess.

“That you know this shows how determined you are,” Garrett snorted, “I said something wrong?” Fenris grabbed his glass with both hands. His reaction showed he already knew, which wasn’t surprising. Anyone could have told him last night when they were out. It wasn’t a secret.

“No, sorry, but it’s funny because lately everyone has praised my determination for suddenly becoming stricter for no reason when I… it doesn’t matter,” he took another bite of his slice. Too bad he hadn’t remembered to buy whipped cream. It was like half the cake.

“You relapsed?” Fenris guessed. Garrett drew in a sharp breath.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said. Putting his elbow on the table he leant his chin in his free hand and turned to look out the window. It rained early in the morning. Cooper liked the rain. More specifically, he liked to jump in the puddles. Garrett remembered his sister enjoyed it too. She probably taught him.

He blinked. The flower on the windowsill came into focus. It was taller, less brown and grey. He thought he killed all the flowers in the apartment. There had been more, but he wasn’t good with plants so their numbers thinned and eventually three were all that remained.

“Garrett,” he turned back and looked at Fenris. His shoulders were hunched, tense.

“What?” it just got worse and worse. Fenris didn’t look at him and opened his mouth only to close it again. Garrett raised his eyebrows and waited.

“It was not important, I apologise,” Fenris pushed his chair out and grabbed the butter. Garrett watched as he quickly cleaned after himself, and left the kitchen with no other word.

He snapped. Not intentionally, but he did. Damn it. He shouldn’t be around people when he acted like that.

“Let’s go,” he told Cooper and stood up. He grabbed the leash from the kitchen bench and put it around the hound’s neck. He slipped into his shoes, grabbed his keys, and headed out. A walk to clear his head would be good. Get away from the apartment.

Where he went he wasn’t sure. He walked where his legs (and Cooper) took him. The scenery change didn’t help much because he still had everything to deal with when he came back. Was it too late to resign from life? Maybe take a vacation, but he didn’t know where to go.

Ferelden maybe. He hadn’t been there since the war. Carver said they rebuilt, but it would take time before they recovered. Refugees who paid for safe passage across borders had gone missing. Ferelden’s new leaders were swift to rebuild, but some worried about their new politics.

“Ah,” he sighed when they reached the bakery. He realised he’d been heading there since he walked out the door, but wasn’t sure why. Was there a secret goal behind the adventure to the bakery?

“Sorry Orana,” he mumbled and opened the door. Cooper followed behind him, and the bell chimed twice. It wasn’t Orana who stood by the register tho, it was Sunshine.

“Keep the hound away from the baked goods,” she greeted with narrowed eyes and tight lips. He held up a finger and pointed to the floor. Cooper sat down.

“Hello to you too,” Garrett walked over to the register. Sunshine merely nodded. She had little patience with Garrett and the hair that followed him wherever he went. She forbid him to enter the kitchen.

“I need the first weekend next month free,” she said and pointed to the three layered chocolate cake. Fenris would like that.

“Why? And yeah, one slice,” he ordered. She bent down to grab a box to put it in.

“I’m helping my girlfriend to set up her studio, is this all?” he looked at the display. Pointed at a chocolate muffin.

“She got her own studio? That’s awesome, congratulations,” he smiled. Sunshine talked about it before. She and her girlfriend couldn’t live together because she required a studio for her work. He pointed at a chocolate chip cookie, and whatever close to it that was also chocolate.

“Thanks, is this all for your boyfriend?” he blinked.

“Wh-wh-what? What-what?” when did he get a boyfriend? Did someone gossip about him?

“Wow,” she put the box on the counter, “is your boyfriend aware you don’t know you’re dating?” she asked. He opened his mouth. Closed it. Opened it. Closed it. Like a damned guppy.

“Fenris is not my boyfriend,” he rejected the idea. Why would she think that?

“Could have fooled me,” well obviously, “you come together, you leave together, I thought you lived together,” she shrugged. He looked to the side and frowned.

“Well…” he started, “he’s a friend of a friend, so I’m doing him a favour, it’s only temporarily,” he explained. It wouldn’t be good if she thought they were boyfriends and told others. He didn’t care about rumours, but Fenris wouldn't like it.

“Uh-huh,” she raised an eyebrow, “that why you giving him an apology box?” she gestured to the box. A muffin, a cake slice, a brownie, a chocolate chip cookie…

“Is it too much?” he asked, unsure. It was the way he apologised to Isabela. He brought her a whole chocolate cake with chocolate icing as an apology. Fenris deserved no less except that Garrett worried he’d eat the whole cake in one go.

“Depends on what you did and who you did it with,” she smacked her lips. Garrett drew a deep breath and raised his hand.

“We’re not together, so if I did anything with anyone it’s none of his concern, just wrap it up,” why were they having this conversation? He wasn’t convinced it actually happened. It was a figment of his imagination.

“Mm-hm,” she spun the box around to shut it tight.

“I haven’t dated anyone in some time, but it’s not because of him okay? If I wanted to date someone I could, but I don’t want to, so I won’t,” he told her. Not that his dating life was any of her business. Unless it involved the company, which it wouldn’t because he wouldn’t date.

“Of course,” she bent down to grab a sticker to put on the box.

“Even if it was because of him -and I’m not saying it is- it wouldn’t matter because I can’t date him, he’s my friend,” they hadn’t known each other for half a year but he felt close to Fenris. He’d never screw that up by crushing on him. Fenris didn’t need that.

“And we all know we should stick to dating our mortal enemies, or inanimate objects if none can be made,” she pushed the box to him. He grabbed it and looked at her. Tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t further her point.

“Thanks,” he picked the box up, “he’s not my boyfriend,” it felt like he tried to persuade her a bit too much. She must be playing him, an attempt to make him snap out of his bad mood. Did she care enough to do that?

“Whatever you say, boss,” she smiled, “we’re trying a new cake next week, meringue with strawberry and chocolate, bring him to try it,” he didn’t like her smile. It wasn’t kind, it was smug.

“Thanks,” he narrowed his eyes, “I’ll do that,” he turned and headed for the door. Cooper stood up and wagged his tail.

“Don’t bring that hairball with you,” she warned when he opened the door. He didn’t reply and headed out with Cooper. Both were anxious to get home.

Garrett thought about what to say. Sorry, here’s chocolate, forgive me, please continue to be my friend? It seemed rather desperate. There was also what Sunshine said, but he couldn’t take that seriously. She played him obviously.

Sure, Garrett bringing Fenris to the bakery could be seen as a date. Fenris asking Isabela to shop with him could also be a date. It wasn’t a date unless one person asked the other (or how many were going) and all parties agreed. Fenris knew that so he wouldn’t misunderstand and think they were dating.

Unless… he had no idea what dating was. He seemed to have an understanding since he went out last night and said he wasn’t interested. Of course, he knew what dating was. Garrett was just being paranoid.

They were friends. Which was why he had to apologise with chocolate. He did the same to Isabela so it wasn’t anything new. Why did Sunshine have to play with his head?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to comment and/or kudos, thank you for reading!


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